Like Shadows
by duathkaimelar
Summary: Akihika Fluff As night falls Akira ponders over how his life has changed, how a certain someone had everything to do with it, and as he realizes the most important thing he recognizes an unspoken promise run between him and Hikaru...


**Like Shadows**

**Shadow Dreamer  
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go belongs to Hotta Yumi, Obata Takeshi, TV Tokyo, and any other person or company that I have missed.  The title and the plot, as always, belong to the muses.  Therefore, I own nothing -_-.**

**Warning: This fic contains Akihika fluff!  Akihika is yaoi.  Slash.  If this bothers you, please leave now.  Flames will only power up the muses' bazooka guns.**

                Just a short impromptu fluffy fic inspired by a beautiful Japanese Akihika fanart pic I came across.  On an extra note, this _is _a one-shot.  I hope you all enjoy it. 

                ~Shadow Dreamer

**~*Like Shadows*~**

                A gentle wind blew through the trees, rocking the leaves back and forth on their branches.  As the wind passed through it hissed softly.  The streets were glowing a light florescent orange cast by the setting sun.  It clashed with the glowing yellow streetlights.  For the most part, the area was abandoned.  Children were home with their families eating.  A few cars could be heard from the street not too far away, but that was all.

                Akira walked slowly down the sidewalk, his feet making a soft crunch through the snow.  It was chilly, yet he was too preoccupied to feel any of the cold through his forest green suede jacket.  Restlessly he fingered a few loose Go stones in his hand.  

                On both sides of the sidewalk there were brick walls almost his height running down at least a mile.  It gave him the feeling of being trapped, and yet this one night he did not let the feeling bother him.

                With a sigh he placed the stones in the pocket of his brown pants.  It had been a long day.

                There had been a time, though it seemed like years ago, when it seemed like the only thing he lived for was to play Go.  The more time he spent in front of a goban a day, the better.  From the time he was a child no older than two until the time he was a 2-dan (maybe even 3-dan) pro, playing Go all day long every day seemed like the only thing he _could do.  _

                Akira loved the game, dearly.  Something about playing gave him a certain feeling of contentment he could not find anywhere else.  Thus he played Go all day to keep himself happy.  When he had become too good to play against others his age he had played amateur adults.  When even they had seemed too easy, he had begun playing pros and studying with them.  That in its own eventually lost its appeal to him.  

                Shindou Hikaru had come into his life then.  Akira had begun to run rather than walk down the path he'd been treading and became a pro.  Pro matches had been exciting.  Being a pro Go player had a completely different feel. The matches were exhilarating, even if he did beat most of his opponents.

                Now, four years after becoming pro, Akira was a 6-dan and the holder of a title.  Save for the title-league matches, everything was boring.  Slowly the lower matches were losing their appeal.  Winning all the time was _not fun.  There seemed barely any point in playing even a single match to him anymore if he knew from the start he was going to win.  In fact, if he did not love the game so much he may have quit long ago._

As a result, playing Go at the Institute or at conventions all day long was no longer an exciting thing.  Of course, it was not boring necessarily (nothing that had anything to do with Go was boring) it simply was no longer thrilling.  Akira believed he finally understood some of his father's actions and beliefs back when he had been the holder of five titles: there was a certain level when no matter how much you loved the game, you had to play against others at that certain level to get excitement.

                Akira held one title.  He would be challenging for another in a week.  He was in leagues for two others at the current time as well.  Just like his father had once been the top player, he was certainly nearing it; and though Akira was closer every day to reaching his ultimate dream, the Hand of God, being one of the best players was not everything it was cracked up to be.  To be honest, it discouraged him.

                Sighing again he shoved a hand into his right pocket and fingered the stones again.  Normally he would not bother dwell on such things, but at the moment everything not normally on his mind was.

                The days passed by mostly in blurs, and as each one of those blurs became farther into the past Touya Kouyo played Go less and less.  Age had to catch up with a man someday, and most of Touya Kouyo's life had been dedicated to the game.

                Though Akira hated to admit it, he was disturbed.  His father had always been right there beside him in the world.  Always.  From the time he was little Akira had figured that when he was among the top pros, and closer to finding the Hand of God, it would be his father he'd be rivals with until the end: gathering his advice and encouragement in Go, and he'd eventually use it all to find the Hand of God in a match against his father.  

                No thanks to the mysterious internet player Sai, he would now be fighting some other faceless player when he finally fulfilled his goal.  To say the least, Akira was greatly disappointed.

                _"Ah, well"_ he thought to himself.  _"Maybe I'll get lucky enough to fight Ogata-san for it…"_

                That was, if he didn't pass Ogata up.  Most likely he soon would.  At first Akira had figured if he did not fight his father before he became the top player, he'd be playing Kuwabara, but the poor old man would be retiring soon.  As much at Kuwabara did not want to admit it, his old body could not handle keeping the title of Honibou much longer.  Akira was determined to take the title from him before he retired.  He wanted to defeat a Go player that he'd looked up to since he was a child before they were gone.  Ashiwara and Ogata would be around for a while.  His old mentors like Kuwabara and his father would not be.  He'd take the Honibou title from Kuwabara and at least give himself that comfort.

                As much as he had wanted to defeat his father, and still did, there was a part of him that did not know what he would do if he did beat his father.  Sometimes it seemed like there was no other logical thing to do.  Sometimes it seemed like it was not possible.  Or it _shouldn't_ be possible.

                Everything was so confusing.  Akira would freely admit that what he had thought things would be like as a young child were completely different from actual reality.

                As he continued to walk down the path he touched his left hand to his coat pocket.

                Shindou Hikaru had much to do with it.

                Five years ago he would have never wanted to hear that name mentioned.  He would have wanted Shindou Hikaru too far behind to ever come into contact with him again.  As the young player got even stronger Akira's hate (born from the need to beat him) changed into curiosity and eventually (though Akira knew not how) a mutual understanding had come between them.  If it were not for that Akira never would have paid any heed to Hikaru's words when he had run into Akira and declared he was not giving up on Go.

                To this day Akira still did not know why Hikaru had seemingly quit Go, but he was determined to find out.  After just barely winning to Hikaru during their first game in over two years he'd somehow agreed to play the other boy every week.  

                Ashiwara had been right.  He had needed someone else, and when Hikaru had just about caught up he had become the excitement Akira needed.  Even against his will, he and Hikaru had slowly talked to each other more until a friendship had grown.  Only keep alive at first by the need to play the other in Go (after all, no one else their age were at the level) the friendship had been small, but over as little a time as a year it had grown firm.

                At one point Akira had sworn to himself he would not grow close to anyone, let alone someone like Hikaru.  Yet some things just happened that way, out of your control.  And though Akira would never admit it to anyone but himself and Hikaru, he _needed him.  For more reasons that just Go, though that was part of it.  When Akira was almost discouraged at being forced to play all day against lower-dan players and when he could not play any of the top pros, he'd play Hikaru.  _

The interesting thing about Hikaru was that he never played Go in the same way.  Sure, like all players he had the basic starting moves he always made.  He responded to certain moves in the same way.  No matter how he played, anyone watching was reminded of Honibou Shuusaku and the mysterious internet player Sai.  However, with Hikaru, you could never let your guard down.  He still kept up the habit of playing 'bad' moves that later allowed him to win, and in general you could never guess what was coming.

                In a way it reminded Akira of Hikaru's personality.  Both Hikaru and Hikaru's Go kept him going, no matter what the situation was.

                Sometimes it was sickening how much he depended on him…

                "Akira!"

                Startled, Akira turned at the voice calling him and he saw Hikaru running towards him-yet he was running _on top of the brick wall to Akira's left.  One of these days he was going to get himself hurt doing stupid things like that._

                "Hikaru?" Akira' soft voice carried in the wind.  He could slightly see his breath in front of him.  "What are you doing here?"

                Hikaru caught up to Akira and stopped, taking a deep breath.  His nose and ears were slightly pink from the cold and he wore a long red scarf around his neck.  Hikaru's trademark number 5 was patched onto the sweater he wore.

                "I came to find you." Hikaru answered and gave Akira a light glare.  "You idiot, don't you remember telling me you'd wait for me at the Institute?"

                _"Oops."_  He _had_ told Hikaru that, hadn't he?

                Wrinkling his nose Akira answered, "I'm sorry.  I forgot.  I just needed to get out of there."

                Hikaru's face softened.  "Hard day?"

                Akira sighed.  "Yes, I suppose.  I get sick of this sometimes…"

                Hikaru was confused.  Akira could not possibly mean Go.  "Sick of what?"

                Akira shook his head and turned away, watching the snow begin to fall.  "Winning, I guess.  Everything's confusing these days…to be honest, I'm not sure what I'm sick of…"

                Reaching down Hikaru placed a hand on the other boy's shoulder.  He hated it when Akira got like this.  "I told you it was unhealthy to do nothing else than play Go…"

                Despite the fact that it was no comfort Akira could not help but smile.  Hikaru always said things like that when he was trying to get Akira to cheer up.  He had no doubt that the 4-dan player did not want to say too much in public.

                "Where were you all day?"

                At this Hikaru laughed and gave his lover's shoulder a squeeze.  "Tormenting Ogata-sensei."

                Raising an eyebrow Akira gave Hikaru a look that said, "What were you doing this time?"

                "He's still mad at me for beating him so badly that one night…"

                Smiling Akira replied to him, "But Ogata-sensei was drunk.  He should have known better."

                "Should have, Akira, that's the key phrase."

                Akira loved having pointless conversations like this with his lover.  Something about it gave him a strange sense of happiness.

                Even when Akira had grown close to Hikaru as a friend he'd never given thought to something like this happening between them.  In fact he could not remember how it started.  All Akira knew of it, all he remembered, was the night when Hikaru had hugged him tightly and whispered that he cared, and from then Akira went to him by instinct for comfort.  Love had come from that, yet he still was not sure how it had.  

                There had never been a time between the two of them when one had 'declared their love' for the other.  Akira and Hikaru, whether it was in life or in Go, did what felt right around the other, and this had been something that felt right.  Like their Go it was strong and developed; it kept them alive.  The love between them did not have to be acknowledged.  

                It was something to come home to.

                Light snowflakes danced through the sky.  The tips of the trees in the park next to them were painted white.  The wind blew the flakes into Hikaru and Akira's hair.  A single flake landed on Hikaru's already pink nose.  Akira could not help but reach a hand up to try and brush it away.

                Yet before that hand reached Hikaru's nose Hikaru's hand found it and gave it a squeeze.  Hikaru smiled at Akira, his eyes twinkling, before beginning to walk.  He pulled his lover by the hand that he held.

                "Where are we going?"

 "I don't know 'Kira…"

                "Don't call me that."

                "It sounds cute."

                "I do _not_ want to be called cute, Hikaru."

                "You're no fun."

                "No, as a matter of fact, I'm not."

                "Sure you are, when you want to be."

                Shaking his head Akira did not hold back the smile that lit his face.  He turned his head up and looked at Hikaru, whose eyes were already on the taller boy's face.  Hikaru pulled Akira's hand back into his and gave it a squeeze.

                Akira's eyes twinkled in the strange way that only Hikaru brought on.  "If you're not careful, you're going to fall."

                "No, I won't." Hikaru argued.  Stopping, his knelt down on the bricks.  "You'd catch me."

                Now that Hikaru was in his reach Akira used his other hand to brush the snow off of his lover's nose and then ran the hand through the blond strands of hair.  

                "Akira?  What were you thinking about before I called you?"

                Pulling on Hikaru's arm Akira forced him to sit down on the pavement.  The snow dampened the blue jeans.  Before the black-haired boy could pull his arms away he felt Hikaru's arms around his shoulders.  

                "I was thinking about you."

                Lips twitched.  "Were you now?  Are you sure it wasn't about Go?"

                "Hikaru…you know I can't think of you without thinking about your Go."

                "You love Go more than me."

                "That's ridiculous.  How could I love a game more than you?"

                Considering that for a moment, Hikaru leaned over and pulled Akira closer until their noses were touching.

                "Because it's _you_, Akira."

                Without saying a word Akira pressed his lips to Hikaru's and moved his arms around the boy's chest.  They remained there locked in a kiss as the snow fell around them and the sun fully set.

                As they broke apart the orange scarf was taken off and placed on the side.  With the wind, it only got in the way.

                "Ne, Akira…I'll bet you anything you were thinking useless thoughts about life that'll only get you depressed again."

                Rather than deny it Akira pulled Hikaru close again and whispered, "Of course I was."

                "Why?"

                A rare mischievous smile crept over the pro player's face.  "Because I know what you'll do afterwards of course."

                Sliding off of the brick wall Hikaru tugged on the other's green coat and gathered him into his arms.  "Let's go home."

                Akira captured Hikaru's lips in a kiss and let himself sink into his arms.  "Cheer me up, love.  Then we'll play a game…"

                "Like always…"

                As Hikaru pushed Akira against the brick wall and kissed him again, Akira realized not for the first time how glad he was that Shindou Hikaru had come into his life and disturbed the future he had been so sure of having.  They both had their doubts sometimes, but to counter that they had each other.

                Wrapped in the blonde boy's arms, Akira vaguely remembered a time when he swore to himself that he'd walk down the path of pros and pull along others who followed.  It was obvious that he had pulled Hikaru down with him: every step of the way, even if at points both of them would have had it otherwise.  If Hikaru was not here, trailing right behind Akira every second of their lives, would he be as far as he was?

                Akira doubted it.  As strong as he was, and as much as he wished to find the Hand of God, his incredibly fast pace was set only by wishing to be far ahead of Hikaru, and only kept alive by having the other pro always at his feet.  Without each other neither would be nearly as far as they were.

                Go was a two-player game.  Though you could study it by yourself, you did not play a real match until it was against another.  Therefore, some now believed that the old belief of the strongest player reaching the Hand of God first was wrong.  Kuwabara had made a good point.  You could only strive for it when you had two people of equal genius.

                Akira would reach the Hand of God someday, but not alone.  When he did find it, it would be together with Hikaru.  Neither of them knew what would happen after that, and neither wanted to think of it: it was a dream still far out of their reach.  But it would happen someday…

                The sudden cold Akira felt brought him out of his thoughts.  Warm arms were still wrapped around him but his lips felt dry and cold.  Akira found that Hikaru was staring at him.

                "You're doing it again." Hikaru whispered, tugging on the green sleeve.

                "I'm sorry" was the whispered reply.  "I can't help it sometimes…"

                A sigh.  "You know I don't like it when you do that, Akira.  It scares me.  Will you ever tell me what this is about?"

                Turning away and uselessly brushing snow off his coat Akira considered this question.  "Maybe…when you tell me about Sai.  You did promise, after all."

                Though he was reluctant to bring up the subject at all, because Hikaru always got strange when Sai was mentioned, it was something that he just had to ask about.  It had been over two years since Hikaru had made the promise of telling Akira about Sai.  He still did not know.  It was a hard thing to wait for.  If he wasn't waiting because it was Hikaru he would not be able to stand being as patient as he was.

                "I will, someday.  I did promise you….just…I can't yet."

                "I understand."

                "Sorry…"

                Shaking his head Akira felt his hair falling into his eyes.  One hand brushing it away, the other grabbed onto Hikaru again, pulling him close.  This was not the time to think about something like this.  Both had had a hard day, and arguing certainly would not make it any better.

                "If we stay out in this snow too long, one or both of us will get sick." Akira pointed out, and this time it was his turn to tug Hikaru along on the path.  "How about we stop to eat before we go home?  We can get ramen."

                Just as was predicated Hikaru's face lit up at the mention of ramen. Pulling Akira back into his arms he placed a kiss on the shiny black hair.  "Let's stop at your father's salon afterwards."

                Akira nodded his agreement.  "It's been a while since we played there."

                So the two set off towards the ramen stand they always ate at, Hikaru watching the snowflakes fall onto Akira's face and Akira facing the ground.  This was pretty much their life.  Yet Akira would not have it any other way.

                Life would be so boring without him.

                He turned his face upwards when he felt a hand running through his hair.  Hikaru was suddenly behind him, one arm around his waist and the other in his hair. 

                "Do you know how good you look when covered in snow?"

                Unfortunately Akira's blush was very visible on his already pale skin out in the cold.  "I do now." 

                Obviously pleased that Akira was not so depressed that he would not joke, Hikaru become encouraged and asked, "Please tell me?  I can't help unless I know what's bothering you."

                "I told you Hikaru, I was thinking about you…I can't imagine what life would be like without you here.  You know that don't you?"

                "I do now." Hikaru repeated, then kissed Akira again before bending down.

                Akira gave him a quizzical look before he was hit by a snowball right in the center of his face.

                "Hikaru!"

                Hikaru ran off laughing, taunting Akira to come after him.  After glancing around a bit he reached down and made his own snow ball, chasing after his playful boyfriend.

                Funny how Akira did not stop once to think about how silly the two of them probably looked as they chased each other around the streets while in the middle of a snowball fight.  He was not the type of person that would be caught dead having a snowball fight in the street, yet here he was doing it.  Akira had to admit, Hikaru and his friends Waya and Isumi had been right: snowball fights relieved stress.  Though his fingers would be numb for a long time.

When Akira finally caught up he tackled Hikaru to the ground, landing on top of him in an alley.  The last snow balls were abandoned, of course they were no longer needed.  The Go stones Akira had left in his pocket lay in the snow around them.  

                "We're kind of far from the ramen stand now…" Hikaru pointed out, trapping Akira from moving by holding him down on top of him.

                With a small laugh Akira replied to him, "This is more fun."

                A rare twinkle shined in the 6-dan player's eyes and it was then Hikaru knew he had been successful in loosening up his lover once more.  Once Akira loosened up a bit, he was so much fun to be around…oh, so much fun to be around, and easily convinced…

                "I love you…" Hikaru whispered, pressing his lips against Akira's once more.

                It was not Go, but even like this they grew closer every day.  As the understanding grew deeper it was easier for them to understand each other's Go.  It was easier for the two to learn how to respond to the others' moves, forcing the both of them to think and come up with moves unheard of.  This was what brought them closer to the Hand of God every minute of their lives, and at least to Akira, it was plain to see that without the other neither would reach it.  They'd surpass the rest of the Go world, maybe fight each other for titles, and one day they'd reach it together.  

Maybe Akira wouldn't be able to fight the former top pros like he had wished as he grew up, and more than likely he'd pass Ogata up before even considering him competition.  But even if they were gone, Hikaru would always be with him.  That thought in its own was enough to keep him going.  Hikaru was his other half, the other part of him he had always needed to reach his goal.  Akira and Hikaru only truly lived when with the other.  It was a feeling that grew more within him during moments like this. 

They'd always be there for the other.  It was an unspoken promise forever run between them.

                "I love you too." Akira whispered, his hands on Hikaru's chest and he locked them in a passionate kiss.

****Owari** **

                I hope you all enjoyed this.  It was fun to write.  (There is far less Akihika fluff out there than there should be!  Where'd it all go?)  Now I must stop stalling from doing reports.  

                As always, reviews are greatly appreciated and forever cherished.  Arigatou, minna-san!  Ja na!

                ~Shadow Dreamer


End file.
